Find Writing Motivation by Honoring Your Inner Child

Questioning Myself

I really needed to question myself the other day. I’ve been in a writing slump, struggling to figure out what was putting me off writing. Was it work? Perhaps it was burnout? Was it a lack of inspiration?

I’ve been here many times before, and sometimes just riding out the waves of writer’s block was the only solution. Sure, it took me longer to get back in the groove, but I figured that was the only way.

But a journalling session never hurt, so that’s what I did. And a question seemed to filter its way through my thoughts:

Who am I really writing for?

Chasing External Validation

I’ve been an athlete for much of my life, in a variety of sports, and I tell you, I’ve always chased the cheers, the roar of the crowd, the feeling of adrenaline pumping through my veins. Nothing compares to the sensation of victory, of defeating your opponent.

I also loved proving people wrong. In this determined, fiery kind of way, I won’t deny I get a kick out of it. Of showing up when others thought you never had a chance in the first place.

I also want to make my parents proud. Even at twenty-four years old, something always has me wanting to prove to them I’m worthy. Don’t worry, that’s a thing I’ve spoken to my therapist about frequently.

Seeking the Internal Commitment

But the point is… I had a deep, long thought about what I chase after, about why I write.

There’s nothing wrong in chasing cheers, in proving people wrong, or in making your parents proud, but these are external forms of validation that I’m seeking. We need external factors in our lives; that’s what connects us to the world. But those are but moments in time, because eventually they fade, the crowd disperses, and the world moves on, and what are you left with?

The internal motivation.

I don’t always like using the word motivation, because our pursuits are a commitment, not something to be determined by motivation. So let’s try the word commitment instead.

The internal commitment

Is it a what? Is it a why? Could be?

For me, it’s a who.

Writing for Your Younger Self

Because who started this endeavour after all? None other than my younger self, fourteen-year-old me, who believed in the stories in her head. Who cherished the characters she created, who believed in the universes at her fingertips, who worked long and hard at improving her craft.

Often I criticize my work while forgetting how much time and effort the younger me took to study writing, the books she read, the videos she watched, the sessions and sessions of practice. How could I put down all her hard work so easily?

Because when no one believed that writing could be a career, she did. When no one considered me capable of finishing a book, she did. When not a soul gave me a chance, she did. Time and time again, through failure after failure, she persevered.

We often chop up children’s dreams to naivety, and sure we have to be realistic in the harsh world that we live in. But if we only defined ourselves by what the world considered ‘realistic’, there would be no dreams at all.

Choosing to Write for Her

So if in fact there was no one else in the world that would care for my writing, if not a single soul ever read my books, if I didn’t write for the cheers, or to prove people wrong, or make my parents proud, then at least I should write for her, and make her dreams come true.

Then you may ask, why satisfy a child’s dream when nothing may become of it for you? Or for the world?

Is it not selfish?

That’s what I used to think. That I’m selfish for chasing my own desires rather than contributing to society. Yes, of course, we have obligations, to our family, to our community; I’m not saying we should throw all that away.

However, I realize a part of being a good person is also being a good person to yourself. We grow up so fast, learning discipline, choosing needs over wants, chasing productivity to the highest degree. Why can we not offer a small but fair space for the child within us?

Honoring Your Inner Child

My child self wanted to write books; she wanted to bring her stories to life. So now when I write, I try to think of her, offering her a seat beside me. I focus on bringing her joy with the promise that I’m working on her dreams, cherishing them, developing them. That her years of dedication didn’t go to waste.

I can think about what my audience might want in the next draft, but for at least the first, I think about what she would want. She is my audience; she is my cheers; she is the one I shall prove right; she is the one I will make proud.

Your Challenge This Week

And so now, I challenge you this week to write solely for your younger self; that is your audience. Even if you didn’t get into writing at a young age. Think of that inner child’s desires, dreams, what brings them joy, and write.

First Draft Tips: Embrace the Mess and Keep Going

Expectations vs. Reality

Writing books has been constantly trial and error for me. But that’s totally okay. I’ve learned to recognize that it’s better to be the person who’s tried and failed than to be the person who’s never tried at all.

With that though, I’ve learned a few things through my failures, particularly that one of my biggest mishaps is my expectation of what a first draft should be like. Now, I’m not saying you expect a perfect first draft. I, too, thought I wasn’t in denial. I was like: “Yeah, a messy first draft is fine!”

The Inner Critic

But subconsciously… I constantly criticized my work, questioning my words, pointing out that I didn’t know enough about a character to write this or that. Because I didn’t know my world, I couldn’t explore it. That my plot had too many holes in it to put down on the page. And while these are all valuable insights, I think it kept me from writing at all. I was so bogged down by my expectations of what a ‘messy first draft’ must be like that I couldn’t even accept it as ‘messy’.

The Big Question: One Perfect Chapter or a Sentence Per Scene?

Let’s look at it from this perspective. What do you think would be more beneficial? To have a perfectly written first chapter. Like stunning prose, clear plot direction, incredible world building. But you’d have only a single chapter written. Or would it be better to have a single sentence for every scene in your novel?

Sometimes I find this question hard to answer too, because the first option gives us the quick validation we want. We get to say: “Hey! Look! I have a great first chapter!” But then what? We still have an entire book to complete. And we become so attached to that first chapter that’s so well written, we want to adjust the entire story around it so it fits into place, when in reality, we don’t know if it will ever fit at all by the end of the process.

But that’s what you have to come to accept about the first draft. It isn’t complete; it’s simply a building block.

Sketching With Sentences

But let’s say you write a single sentence for every scene. What you’re doing is saying, “Hey, this was the idea I had for this section; it might stay, it might go.” Like sketching with a pencil. You’re not committing to the line, but you’re giving it a solid chance. And when you do that for every scene in your book, you get the compromise of both getting validation with having written actual prose, while still giving it a chance to be molded and changed. You get a big-picture view of the complete book without getting lost in the details.

Because, believe it or not, now isn’t the time to get lost in the details.

First Draft as Planning

We think that when we finish plotting, character creation, and world building, we are at the end of the planning stage of our novel. But I’m going to give you a big tip here that you should carry with you for the rest of your novel-writing life. The first draft is part of the planning process too.

Please don’t take it the wrong way. I’m not saying that you should now fixate on planning to the point you never write. No, no, no. You still need to write during your first draft. But what I’m getting at here is that you should see drafting as also sort of planning. During the first draft, you are sketching out the outline of your novel. Preparing it for drafts two and three for when you flesh out the sketch with pretty shades or deeper lines.

Nurturing Your Baby Novel

Stop expecting so much out of your first draft as I used to. Your novel is in its infancy, and you don’t expect a baby to walk and run when it’s just out of the womb, do you? Feed it, nurture it, care for it. Sure, it’s not the most exciting thing right now, but neither you nor I would call a baby exciting at that age. We’d call them cute, beautiful, adorable. Precious.

Your baby novel is precious. Not something to be criticized just yet. You can edit and mold them when they get to the teenage stage, don’t worry. But for now. Give your novel all the loving it needs.

Your Challenge This Week

So, I challenge you this week to do that. Spend at least twenty minutes each day writing a single sentence for each scene of your novel, choosing to do a couple for the start, middle and end of your story. A sentence of prose. You can totally add brief notes underneath to indicate where you plan for the scene to go. But the idea is to spend only twenty minutes on each scene, writing something concrete.

Happy Writing!